08/08/19: Married 11 Years Today!

Although we have been boyfriends since 1991 and living together since 1994, domestic partners since 1999, and civilly united (in Vermont) since 2000, we were only married in California on August 8, 2008 (Roger Federer's 27th birthday!) before Proposition 8 passed and after the California Supreme Court legalized marriage equality in the Golden State with the In Re Marriage Cases decision and upheld my marriage (and 18,000 others!) in Strauss v. Horton.

The above pictures were taken on our latest vacation in Valencia, Spain in July 2019.

Happy anniversary, hubby!

Germany's Marriage Equality Law Is Now In Effect!

Germany's equal marriage law, called "marriage for all" went into effect on yesterday. It was passed on June 30 by a vote of 393-226 in the German parliament when Chancellor Angela Merkel's governing coalition agreed to allow a free vote on the matter, even though she herself voted against the measure. The bill was signed into law by the German president in late July.

The first couple to be married under the legislation was a gay male couple from Berlin named Karl Kreile and Bodo Mende who had been together for 38 years.

The fact that Germany now has marriage equality was one reason my husband I decided to finally visit Berlin in August for our 9th wedding anniversary.

Hat/tip to the Washington Blade.

#EqualityDay: Today is Anniversary of Obergefell, Hollingsworth and Windsor

Today is June 26, which some people are calling #EqualityDay, since it is the anniversary of numerous landmark Supreme Court decisions that have expanded equal rights for LGBT citizens. The most recent are 2015's Obergefell v. Hodges, which resulted in the dissolution of all the remaining state-based prohibitions on marriage equality, and 2013's U.S. v. Windsor which struck down the section of the so-called federal Defense of Marriage Act that had barred the U.S. government from recognizing legally married same-sex couples and 2013's Hollingsworth v. Perry which invalidated California's Proposition 8, restoring marriage equality to the nation's largest state. Amazingly, June 26, 2003 was the day that Lawrence v. Texas was announced which struck down the last remaining state laws criminalizing consensual homosexual relations between adults. June 26 is a important day in the history of LGBT equality!

The Williams Institute has analyzed the impact of these decisions and these results can be summarized as:

• As of June 2017, nearly 1.1 million LGBT people in the United States are married to someone of the same sex, implying that more than 547,000 same-sex couples are married nationwide. 
• Since Obergefell, at least 157,000 same-sex couples married. 
• Since Windsor, at least 317,000 same-sex couples married.
• 10.2% of LGBT adults are married to someone of the same sex (Source: Gallup)

Gallup also notes that the latest data indicates that 4.3% of U.S. adults identify as LGBT and that even today in 2017, a larger percentage (13.1%) of LGBT people are married to someone of the opposite-sex. More men (11.4%) than women (9.3%) are married to a same-sex spouse.

Happy LGBT #EqualityDay!

CELEBRITY FRIDAY: Jim Parson Of #TBBT Marries Longtime Boyfriend

Multiple Emmy award-winning actor Jim Parsons, one of the stars of the CBS hit sitcom The Big Bang Theory, married his longtime boyfriend this past week at the Rainbow Room in New York City. Parsons, 44,  came out publicly in 2012 and has only rarely been seen in public with Todd Spiewak.

MAP: New Data Show Same-Sex Marriage Geographic Distribution In The USA

The New York Times Upshot blog has a post today on a Working Paper (pdf) by researchers at  the U.S. Treasury department about same-sex joint married tax filers in 2013 and 2014, after the United States v. Windsor decision ended discrimination by the federal government against legally married same-sex couples (like yours truly).

By linking the tax returns of same-sex couples who filed jointly in 2014 with their Social Security records, researchers are able to give us the most accurate picture of same-sex marriages to date. And their estimate is this: In 2014 there were 183,280. same-sex marriages in America, roughly a third of 1 percent of all marriages.

Of course, implicit in this estimate is the assumption that all married couples file their returns jointly. But as a proxy for that, it’s pretty good. The Treasury Department estimates that 97.5 percent of married couples file joint returns.

One highlight of the study: Pretax household income of same-sex married couples is higher than that of heterosexual married couples. Most of that is driven by the average earnings of male same-sex couples: $176,000. On average, they make $52,000 more than married lesbian couples and $63,000 more than married straight couples.

A key factor in the reason why same-sex male couples make more than their married counterparts is where they tend to live, which is urban centers. Here's the list of locations for the top 10 places same-sex couples reside:

No surprise that San Francisco is #1 on the list (for gay couples and #3 for lesbians), but it is also interesting to note that Washington is #2 and #6 respectively. Los Angeles and Long Beach are represented well.

Worst Mass Shooting In US History At Gay Nightclub in Orlando, Florida (50 Dead, 53 Injured)

The worst mass shooting in U.S. history occurred late Saturday night at an LGBT nightclub called Pulse in Orlando, Florida. Omar Mateen, 29, has been identified as the person armed with an AR-15 and a handgun who killed 50 people and wounded 53 others.

President Barack Obama delivered a live address to the nation on the tragedy:

This is an especially heartbreaking day for all our friends -- our fellow Americans -- who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The shooter targeted a nightclub where people came together to be with friends, to dance and to sing, and to live. The place where they were attacked is more than a nightclub -- it is a place of solidarity and empowerment where people have come together to raise awareness, to speak their minds, and to advocate for their civil rights.  So this is a sobering reminder that attacks on any American -- regardless of race, ethnicity, religion or sexual orientation -- is an attack on all of us and on the fundamental values of equality and dignity that define us as a country. And no act of hate or terror will ever change who we are or the values that make us Americans. Today marks the most deadly shooting in American history. The shooter was apparently armed with a handgun and a powerful assault rifle. This massacre is therefore a further reminder of how easy it is for someone to get their hands on a weapon that lets them shoot people in a school, or in a house of worship, or a movie theater, or in a nightclub. And we have to decide if that’s the kind of country we want to be. And to actively do nothing is a decision as well.

A very sad day indeed!

Colombia Joins The Group Of Countries With Full Marriage Equality!

Great news on the international LGBT equality front! The Supreme Court of Colombia has ruled 6-3 in favor of marriage equality.

Colombia’s Constitutional Court voted in favor of legal marriage equality today, in a 6-3 decision, reports Spanish-language Colombian LGBT media outlet EgoCity. The ruling takes effect immediately, meaning same-sex couples can now marry throughout the South American nation.  

The decision was not wholly unexpected, as the court had long been considering a case filed by four same-sex couples who argued that the state was required to provide equal marriage rights for same-sex couples.  

In 2011, the Constitutional Court ordered the national congress to create a law establishing marriage equality by June 20, 2013. Lawmakers failed to meet this deadline, which means same-sex couples in Colombia have technically been able to legally recognize their relationships since 2013, though to do so couples were required to seek out a notary or judge to formally solemnize their commitment.  

Because there was no definitive policy regulating these unions, many same-sex couples were turned away by judges and notaries. Four such couples filed the lawsuit that was decided today, which determines that no judge or notary can legally refuse to marry a same-sex couple.

The Advocate seems to indicate same-sex couples can marry in Colombia now because the ruling should go into effect immediately but that has not been confirmed by other sources.

Hat/tip to Joe Jervis

EYE CANDY: Tyrone and Johnell (reprise)

Johnell Tyrell and Tyrone Wells are a gay Black male couple who have been featured as Eye Candy here before (August 3, 2015). They are both popular on Instagram (Tyrone is @tyronewells and Johnell is @johnell_.)

They take great pictures together and separately. Enjoy!

QUEER QUOTE: U.S. Attorney General Lynch Announces Full Federal Benefits For Married Same-Sex Couples

United States Attorney General Loretta Lynch issued this statement today declaring that all married same-sex couples will have access to federal benefits based on marriage.

 “Following the Supreme Court’s historic decision in Obergefell that every couple has the same right to participate in the institution of marriage, whether the partners are of the same-sex or opposite sexes, I directed Justice Department staff to work with the agencies to ensure that the ruling be given full effect across the federal government.  Thanks to their leadership and the quick work of the Social Security Administration and the Department of Veterans Affairs, today I am proud to announce that the critical programs for veterans and elderly and disabled Americans, which previously could not give effect to the marriages of couples living in states that did not recognize those marriages, will now provide federal recognition for all marriages nationwide.  The agencies are currently working towards providing guidance to implement this change in law.  Just over a year ago, Attorney General Holder announced that agencies across the federal government had implemented the Supreme Court’s Windsor decision by treating married same-sex couples the same as married opposite-sex couples to the greatest extent possible under the law as it then stood.  With the Supreme Court’s new ruling that the Constitution requires marriage equality, we have now taken the further step of ensuring that all federal benefits will be available equally to married couples in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and the US Territories.  The department will continue to work across the administration to fulfill our commitment to equal treatment for all Americans, including equal access to the benefits of marriage that the Obergefell decision guarantees.”

Hat/tip to Joe Jervis

Gallup Ranks U.S. Metro Areas By LGBT Population Percentage

There has been a bunch of chatter in the blogosphere recently about the release by the Gallup organization of the top 10 metropolitan regions ranked by LGBT population percentage. Unsurprisingly, San Francisco is ranked #1 and the usual suspects are found in the Top 10 (Austin, Portland, Seattle, Boston, Los Angeles and Denver). The big surprise is that Salt Lake City is at #7.

The Williams Institute looked at the difference in the Top 10 most LGBT metropolitan areas from 1990 to 2014:

Only San Francisco, Austin and Seattle are in the Top 5 on both lists. In 1990 Salt Lake City was at #39. Dr. Gary Gates explains why:

The substantial change in the position of Salt Lake City in the 1990 same-sex couple rankings compared to its position in the recent rankings based on LGBT identity offers evidence of increased LGBT visibility even in conservative states like Utah. This may be a factor in why, in 2015, Utah became the first state in the last seven years to pass a law that prohibits discrimination in the workplace and in public accommodation based on sexual orientation and gender identity. The majority of states still do not have such laws on their books. Substantial increases in LGBT visibility in more socially conservative places like Salt Lake City, Louisville, and Norfolk likely mean that these areas are not as different from cities like San Francisco, Austin, and Seattle (all with long histories of fostering social climates where LGBT people felt more comfortable) in their acceptance of the LGBT community today than they were twenty years ago.

Basically, the entire country is more accepting as a whole so the geographical variation is much smaller (the difference between the #1 area of San Francisco at 6.2% and the median nationwide percentage of 3.6% is not that great) so that even the the area with the lowest LGBT population (unsurprisingly, Birmingham, Alabama) is only one percentage point below this mark.

GRAPHIC: Age Gap In Same-Sex Couples Generally Greater Than Straight Couples'

Five Thirty Eight did an analysis of the average gap in ages between couples, and included male-male and female-female pairs in their data set (which was taken from Facebook). The results are interesting, because there is a significant difference:

Using anonymized data from U.S. users who say they are in relationships, Facebook found that the average age difference in gay couples tends to get bigger the older people get. Those in their early 20s have an average age difference in their relationships of about two to three years, but once people get into their 40s, that average age gap increases to about seven years. The age difference increases for older male-female couples, too (shown in red below), though not by as much. (Remember, this is self-reported data from people who make their relationship status public on Facebook.)

Any thoughts about why this age gap among gay and lesbian couples increases with age? The age gap between me and my Other Half is 37 months (just over 3 years), but we are in our forties so we are clearly outliers.

Happy Valentine's Day (Weekend)!

Obama Nominates Openly Gay Man To Be Ambassador To Vietnam

Clayton Bond and Ted Osius are an (interracial) gay power couple in U.S. diplomatic circles. Bond is the author of Djakarta Djournal: Adventures of a Diplomatic Spouse in Indonesia. The two were marred in Canada in 2006. President Obama nominated Osius this week to be the next Ambassador to Vietnam:

Ted Osius, Nominee for Ambassador to the Socialist Republic of Vietnam, Department of StateTed Osius, a career member of the Foreign Service, Class of Minister-Counselor, is an Associate Professor at the National War College, a position he has held since 2013.  He was a Senior Fellow at the Center for Strategic and International Studies from 2012 to 2013.  Prior to that, Mr. Osius served as Deputy Chief of Mission at the U.S. Embassy in Jakarta, Indonesia, from 2009 to 2012.  Before that, he was Political Minister-Counselor at the U.S. Embassy in New Delhi, India from 2006 to 2009.  Mr. Osius also served as Deputy Director of the Office of Korean Affairs in the Bureau of East Asian and Pacific Affairs at the Department of State from 2004 to 2006.  Prior to that, he was Regional Environment Officer at the U.S. Embassy in Bangkok, Thailand from 2001 to 2004.  From 1998 to 2001, he was Senior Advisor on International Affairs in the Office of the Vice President at the White House.  He served as Political Officer at the U.S. Consulate General in Ho Chi Minh City and at the U.S. Embassy in Hanoi, Vietnam from 1997 to 2001.  Other positions he has held include: Staff Aide and Political Officer at the United States Mission to the United Nations, Political and Management Officer at the U.S. Embassy in Vatican City, The Holy See, and Political and Consular Officer at the U.S. Embassy in Manila, Philippines.  From 1985 to 1987, he was a Legislative Correspondent in the Office of U.S. Senator Al Gore, Jr.  Mr. Osius received an A.B. from Harvard College and an M.S. from the School of Advanced International Studies at The Johns Hopkins University.

If confirmed by the Senate, Osius would join other openly gay men nominated by President Obama who are now ambassadors to Australia, Spain, Denmark and Dominican Republic.

Hat/tip to EDGE

NEW MEXICO: Same-Sex Couples Issued Marriage Licenses In 2 Counties

As I predicted earlier this year, New Mexico has become the latest front in the fight for marriage equality. This week, county clerks in Doña Ana County (where Las Cruces is located) and Santa Fe (where the state capitol is located) began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. In Santa Fe, they did so in response to a court order from District Judge Sarah Singleton, while in Las Cruces it happened because the county clerk responded to New Mexico Attorney General Gary King's determination that the state's marriage law is  unconstitutionally discriminating against same-sex couples.

The Washington Post reported the news:

New Mexico law doesn’t explicitly prohibit or authorize same-sex couples to be married. The attorney general’s office has interpreted the law to prohibit gay marriage, but Attorney General Gary King also contends that the law violates constitutional guarantees of equal protection under the law. 

More than a dozen other states do allow same-sex marriage. 

Singleton, in her order, said that “reading a sex or sexual orientation requirement into the laws of New Mexico violates the state constitution, which mandates that ‘equality of rights under law shall not be denied on account of the sex of any person.’” 

The order comes as about 90 same-sex couples have received marriage licenses in southern New Mexico since Wednesday, when the Dona Ana County clerk in Las Cruces decided to start granting them. 

A group of Republican legislators is planning to file a lawsuit to stop the clerk in that county, the second largest in the state.

Recently, the state Supreme Court declined to rule directly on the constitutionality of the state's marriage law but  did endorse expedited lower court review. That's good, because events around marriage equality are coming fast and furious in the Land of Enchantment.

Celebrity Friday: Cheyenne Jackson Splits From Husband

38-year-old openly gay actor Cheyenne Jackson (Behind the Candelabra, 30 Rock and Glee) has separated from his physicist husband Monte Lapka after nearly 2 years of marriage, ending their 13-year relationship. People magazine reports the news:

"Cheyenne Jackson and his husband Monte Lapka have mutually decided to divorce. The couple have been together for 13 years and were married in N.Y. State two years ago. It is an amicable parting and, understandably, a private matter," a rep for the actor tells PEOPLE. 

Although this is sad news for the couple, I am happy to see that there is equally obnoxious reporting on the private lives of LGBT celebrities as there is for straight celebrities. Years ago this would have been called "outing" but it is yet another sign that the good guys are winning the kulturkampf when gay divorces are being reported as matter-of-factly as gay marriages. This is America, we're gonna have a lot of both!

Hat/tip to TowleRoad