CELEBRITY FRIDAY: Kordale and Kaleb (2 Hot Gay Dads) Broke Up

In January I blogged about the heartwarming story of a Kodak commercial featuring a Black gay male couple and their three kids. The names of the guys in the couple are Kordale Anthony and Caleb Lewis and the two have nearly 200 000 followers on Instagram.

Of course, this being America, we now have news from People magazine that the couple has broken up.

It seems Anthony and Lewis made an effort to work out their issues but ultimately could not mend feelings of "disrespect."  

"Neither one of us were perfect in our relationship, but when you are blatantly disrespected by someone who is supposed to be working with you to make y'all better, going to counseling smiling and telling you how much everything is going to work out…it's over," Anthony writes.  

Anthony assures his kids Desmiray, Malia, and Kordale Jr. that he will still be there for them despite the breakup. 

I wish the best for Kordale and Caleb and hope that things work out for the best.

Hat/tip to Wonder Man

Nikon Features Black Gay Dads With Kids In Advertisement

One reason I know that LGBT people are winning the cultural war for social acceptance is the adoption by corporation of using LGBT images to sell their prodcts to LGBT (and non-LGBT) folks.

The latest case in point is the Nikon commercial featuring Kordale and Kaleb Lewis, two Black gay dads with three kids who live in Atlanta. They have their own Facebook group: KordalenKaleb.

The company is promoting the family as part of their "I Am Generation Image" campaign, with a whole website and video commercial.

That's today's good news for today!

Hat/tip to Joe Jervis

QUEER QUOTE: Pentagon Announces Victory On Same-Sex Benefits Issue

Good news! It appears that the controversy is now over about whether certain states who have public policies (e.g. state constitutional amendments and/or homophobic politicians) that they claim mean that they are allowed to not recognize same-sex marriages for any purpose will be forced to process applications from same-sex couples who are requesting federal benefits from the National Guard.

Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel had previously made clear that the National Guard is ultimately under the control of the Pentagon and his interpretation of Department of Defense policy and declared that all military service members would be treated equally, regardless of the local beliefs about same-sex marriage.

The Pentagon released a statement from Hagel which is today's Queer Quote:

On Oct. 31, I called on the chief of the National Guard Bureau to work with several states to fully implement Department of Defense policy by providing DoD identification cards to all eligible military spouses, regardless of sexual orientation.  Following consultations between the National Guard Bureau and the adjutants general of the states, all eligible service members, dependents and retirees - including same-sex spouses - are now able to obtain ID cards in every state. All military spouses and families sacrifice on behalf of our country.  They deserve our respect and the benefits they are entitled to under the law.  All of DoD is committed to pursuing equal opportunities for all who serve this nation, and I will continue to work to ensure our men and women in uniform as well as their families have full and equal access to the benefits they deserve.

Politicians like Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin decided to stop processing all applications from married couples in order to not have to process applicants from married same-sex couples.

However, now it seems like all married couples are being provided equal access to federal DoD benefits.

Great news!

New Poll Indicates Majority Support For Marriage Equality in Mexico

A new poll from Mexico shows that although support for same-sex marriage is high, discriminatory attitudes towards LGBT people are still prevalent in the country.

According to a Parametria survey conducted in July, 52 percent of respondents support gay marriage, while 44 percent remain opposed. Fifty-two percent of Roman Catholics are also in support. That's a thirteen point increase in support from a previous poll conducted in December of 2012.

Fifty-seven percent of Mexicans (60% of Catholics) support gay troops serving openly in the military.

Openly gay politicians are supported 49-45 percent.

Eighty-nine percent of respondents said that gay people in Mexico should be treated equally, but 9 in 10 acknowledged that discrimination exists in the nation.

However, a large majority of Mexicans (70%) are opposed to gay couples adopting children, a 4 point drop from last year's survey.

And when asked to choose either a statement in support of same-sex unions as a testament to a free society or a statement in support of marriage remaining a heterosexual union, only 36 percent chose the former, a ten point increase from 2004, while 51 percent chose the later.

These are very interesting results. It is curious how people could support the right for same-sex couples to get legally married but in the same breath do not think those same couples should be able to adopt kids!

IRS Announces Recognition Of All Same-Sex Marriages For Tax Purposes

Wow! The United States Department of the Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service announced today that all legally married same-sex couples, regardless of what state they live in, will be recognized for federal income tax purposes.

From the press release:

U.S. Treasury Department 
Office of Public Affairs

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: August 29, 2013

CONTACT: Treasury Public Affairs (202) 622-2960

TREASURY AND IRS ANNOUNCE THAT ALL LEGAL SAME-SEX MARRIAGES WILL BE RECOGNIZED FOR FEDERAL TAX PURPOSES

Ruling Provides Certainty, Benefits and Protections Under Federal Tax Law for Same-Sex Married Couples

 

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Department of the Treasury and the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) today ruled that same-sex couples, legally married in jurisdictions that recognize their marriages, will be treated as married for federal tax purposes. The ruling applies regardless of whether the couple lives in a jurisdiction that recognizes same-sex marriage or a jurisdiction that does not recognize same-sex marriage.

The ruling implements federal tax aspects of the June 26^th Supreme Court decision invalidating a key provision of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act.

“Today’s ruling provides certainty and clear, coherent tax filing guidance for all legally married same-sex couples nationwide. It provides access to benefits, responsibilities and protections under federal tax law that all Americans deserve,” said Secretary Jacob J. Lew. “This ruling also assures legally married same-sex couples that they can move freely throughout the country knowing that their federal filing status will not change.”

Under the ruling, same sex couples will be treated as married for all federal tax purposes, including income and gift and estate taxes. The ruling applies to all federal tax provisions where marriage is a factor, including filing status, claiming personal and dependency exemptions, taking the standard deduction, employee benefits, contributing to an IRA, and claiming the earned income tax credit or child tax credit.

Any same-sex marriage legally entered into in one of the 50 states, the District of Columbia, a U.S. territory, or a foreign country will be covered by the ruling. However, the ruling does not apply to registered domestic partnerships, civil unions, or similar formal relationships recognized under state law.

Legally-married same-sex couples generally must file their 2013 federal income tax return using either the “married filing jointly” or “married filing separately” filing status.

Individuals who were in same-sex marriages may, but are not required to, file original or amended returns choosing to be treated as married for federal tax purposes for one or more prior tax years still open under the statute of limitations.  

Generally, the statute of limitations for filing a refund claim is three years from the date the return was filed or two years from the date the tax was paid, whichever is later. As a result, refund claims can still be filed for tax years 2010, 2011, and 2012. Some taxpayers may have special circumstances (such as signing an agreement with the IRS to keep the statute of limitations open) that permit them to file refund claims for tax years 2009 and earlier.

Additionally, employees who purchased same-sex spouse health insurance coverage from their employers on an after-tax basis may treat the amounts paid for that coverage as pre-tax and excludable from income.

POLL: Strong Support for LGBT Equality in VA

Good news out of the Commonwealth of Virginia for supporters of LGBT equality! A new bipartisan poll conducted for Human Rights Campaign reveals that Virginians strongly support LGBT equality.

For example, support for marriage equality is at 55%, which jumps to 71% for voters under the age of 30. There is interesting geographic distribution too:

• 68 percent in Northern Virginia 

• 53 percent in Central Virginia

• 51 percent in Eastern Virginia 

It's great to know that the area in which I have been living (Ballston section of Arlington) has such strong support for marriage equality. But there is even more good news. Virginia also supports state recognition of same-sex couples (civil unions) as well as overwhelmingly support (by 74 percent) protections from employment discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

In fact, support for a state LGBT right law is strong among several demographics:

• 70 percent of Independents

• 62 percent of Republicans

• 71 percent of African Americans

The item "on the gay rights agenda" that is least supported by Virginians is adoption by same-sex couples, which is "only" supported by 60 percent.

Great news from Virginia! Maybe Virginia is for lovers, after all!

WATCH: AFER Explains Prop 8 Case

The Gaytterdämmerung case of Hollingsworth v Perry could be released by the United States Supreme Court as early as tomorrow but will probably not come out until next Monday or Thursday June 27 at the latest. The organization behind the federal challenge to California's Proposition 8 is the American Foundation for Equal Rights, or AFER. 
With the final Decision Day in the Proposition 8 case coming soon, AFER has released a helpful and stirring video that explains how the case has reached this point, mentioning the two other Decision Days on the way (district court decision on August 4, 2010 by now-openly gay federal judge Vaughn Walker and the appellate court decision from the 9th Circuit on February 7, 2012). Both lower courts have deemed Proposition 8 an impermissible violation of the United States Constitution, so if the U.S. Supreme Court declines to issue a decision on the merits for any reason (and there are many) then Proposition 8 will be invalidated and marriages will resume in California shortly afterwards.

Happy Endings Cancelled. Oh, Cruel World!

Friday was the day when the networks make their final decisions about what shows will be renewed to appear and what new shows will be added to their schedule. Sadly, one of my favorite comedies, ABC's Happy Endings was on the list of cancelled shows. The show is basically an update of NBC's Friends, following the lives and loves of six 30-somethings living in an urban setting. Except this time there's a Black member (the very funny, and quite attractive Damon Wayans, Jr.) named Brad and a gay member named Max (played in non-stereotypical fashion by straight actor Adam Pally). The biggest star on the show was probably Elisha Cuthbert, who played the ditzy Alex. However, the funniest actors on the show are Eliza Coupe (who plays Alex's sister Jane and is married to Brad) and Casey Wilson (who plays Penny, Alex's best friend and Max's college girlfriend). The 6th member of the group is Zachary Knighton (who plays Dave, who was Alex's fiance but who in the pilot was left at the altar.

The show was known for its incredibly fast dialogue, obscure pop references and slapstick situations. It was very, very funny but also pretty lowly rated and ABC tried mightily to help it find an audience by moving it from the time slot after power house Modern Family on Wednesdays to Tuesdays and then Fridays. (When your show moves to Friday you know you're almost dead!)

Max was one of the most interesting gay characters on television, and was a fully fleshed-out member of the cast, most definitely not just another "sassy gay bestfriend." Other gay-related shows that were cancelled are Smash (which I watched the first season but once Jennifer Hudson's arc ended this season I was done) and The New Normal, which was a comedy by openly gay TV producer Ryan Murphy (the creator of Glee) about a gay couple trying to raise a family by having a baby with a quirky surrogate. I never saw a single minute of The New Normal so I won't miss it. It only lasted a single season, while Smash lasted two and Happy Endings lasted three.

Apparently there were two other shows with prominent gay themes that were cancelled as well: CBS's Partners and NBC's Go On. I suppose it's a good thing that there are so many gay characters on TV that one doesn't feel obligated to watch every one. Now, let's hoping that representation of the LGBT community can be more uniformly distributed among the best shows on television as well.

Right now it's my understanding that there are no openly LGBT characters on The Walking Dead, Mad Men, The Big Bang Theory for example. There are gay characters on some of my favorite shows like The Good Wife and Game of Thrones. Perhaps some new ones will be added in the new season.

Hat/tip to Queerty!

STUDY: Gay Men Having Fewer Sex Partners

There is a new report out indicating that men who have sex with men, i.e. MSM (which is a larger set of people than self-identified gay men), are reducing the number of partners. In "Temporal Trends in Sexual Behavior among Men Who Have Sex with Men in the United States, 2002 to 2006-10," researchers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention analyze results of two telephone surveys of Americans (ages 15-44) reporting their sexual behavior from 2002-2006 and 2006-2010.

A nice summary of the results presented in the article is:

Between the two polls, the mean number of reported male sexual partners dropped significantly from 2.9 to 2.3, and fell from 2.9 to 2.1 for men younger than 24. The drop reached statistical significance, meaning the finding was not the result of chance, among men whose incomes were below 150 percent of federal poverty level, who reported a respective 3.0 and 2.1 partners, as well as among men in suburban metropolitan areas (3.2 to 2.1). Those living in urban areas reported 2.6 male partners in both surveys.

Condom use remained unchanged, with 57 percent of the men in the first survey reporting they had not used a condom for the last time they had sex, and 58 percent in the second.  

The proportion reporting an HIV test in the past year also remained unchanged, at a respective 41 percent between both surveys.  Thirty-eight percent of the men reported receiving a sexually transmitted infection screening in the past year in the 2002 survey, compared with 39 percent in the 2006 to 2010 survey. However, the rate of those who reported never having had an HIV test dropped from 25 to 15 percent.

The average number of approximately 2-3 sex partners per year seems sort of low to me, doesn't it? Apparently there were 197 MSM surveyed in the first survey and 272 in the second. That would mean the margin of error on the percentages are  quite large.

hat/tip to Queerty

Happy Mothers' Day!

Hat/tip to The New Yorker

AP To Use Terms "Husband" and "Wife" For All Married Couples

After a brief brou-ha-ha where they were trying to claim that the more appropriate term for legally married same-sex couples was "partner," the Associated Press has explicitly changed its very influential style guide to reflect that husband and wife are terms to be used regardless of sexual orientation:

husband, wife Regardless of sexual orientation, husband or wife is acceptable in all references to individuals in any legally recognized marriage. Spouse or partner may be used if requested.

Although they don't address the controversy head on they also included this quote to explain the context of today's action:

"The AP has never had a Stylebook entry on the question of the usage of husband and wife," said AP Senior Managing Editor for U.S. News Mike Oreskes. "All the previous conversation was in the absence of such a formal entry. This lays down clear and simple usage. After reviewing existing practice, we are formalizing 'husband, wife' as an entry."

And brick by brick that is how the edifice of discrimination crumbles...

Pentagon Grants DP Benefits to Same-Sex Couples

Outgoing Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta announced on Tuesday that the Department of Defense will extend as many benefits as it can without violating the Defense of Marriage Act to same-sex couples who register as domestic partners with the Pentagon.

Statement from Secretary of Defense Leon E. Panetta on the Extension of Benefits to Same-Sex Partners

            “Seventeen months ago, the United States military ended the policy of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”  We have implemented the repeal of that policy and made clear that discrimination based on sexual orientation has no place in the Department of Defense.
            “At the time of repeal, I committed to reviewing benefits that had not previously been available to same-sex partners based on existing law and policy.  It is a matter of fundamental equity that we provide similar benefits to all of those men and women in uniform who serve their country.  The department already provides a group of benefits that are member-designated.  Today, I am pleased to announce that after a thorough and deliberate review, the department will extend additional benefits to same-sex partners of service members.  
            “Taking care of our service members and honoring the sacrifices of all military families are two core values of this nation.  Extending these benefits is an appropriate next step under current law to ensure that all service members receive equal support for what they do to protect this nation.
            “One of the legal limitations to providing all benefits at this time is the Defense of Marriage Act, which is still the law of the land.  There are certain benefits that can only be provided to spouses as defined by that law, which is now being reviewed by the United States Supreme Court.  While it will not change during my tenure as secretary of defense, I foresee a time when the law will allow the department to grant full benefits to service members and their dependents, irrespective of sexual orientation.  Until then, the department will continue to comply with current law while doing all we can to take care of all soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, and their families.
            “While the implementation of additional benefits will require substantial policy revisions and training, it is my expectation that these benefits will be made available as expeditiously as possible.  One of the great successes at the Department of Defense has been the implementation of DADT repeal.  It has been highly professional and has strengthened our military community.  I am confident in the military services’ ability to effectively implement these changes over the coming months.”

The organization OutServe SLDN has a very cool list of frequently asked questions which documents the exact list of benefits that are being extended as well as the likely date that they will  go into effect (by October 1, 2013).

An interesting question is what impact this move will have on the ongoing litigation over the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act in United States v Windsor. It can't be lost on the Supreme Court that there are actual servicemembers who are being negatively impacted by the existence of DOMA, since the Secretary of Defense is clearly saying that DOMA is limiting what benefits the Pentagon would like to extend to the men and women who are fighting and dying to protect our country while that very same country is treating their loved ones like second-class citizens.

Award-winning Story By 15yo About His Two Moms

Watch this astonishingly well-told story about a real life teen with lesbian mothers by 15-year-old Noah St. John who has been winning spoken-word competitions with this performance, including NPR's Snap Judgment Performance of the Year.

hat/tip to Joe.My.God